Farewell, 2011.

I'm pretty excited to say goodbye to 2011 and welcome in 2012.  As much as the end of the world scares me (ha), 2012 also brings up to the end of deployment and to a new duty station.  We'll send handsome man off to kindergarten (good Lord, I feel old!) and baby lady to preschool. Little baby O will turn ONE (Oh my gosh, I'm going to cry!) and my husband will be home for all the kids' birthdays! (yay!)

Before I send you back on my 2011 journey, I should warn you that most of my favorites from 2011 are my random vents. Ha.
But in reading the vents, it took me back to what was going on and where the vents were coming from and instead of being upset all over again by whatever was bothering me, it actually put me at peace to be past it. (yay me and my growing up//maturing self)
Without further ado:

Welcome, 2011. My 2011 resolutions. I actually accomplished most of them.
That time we had Christmas in January. (two Christmas's in 2011 and neither ON Christmas! Hopefully 2012 gives us Christmas actually ON Christmas)
Talking about friends and how hard it is to find the good ones.
That time I saw a serial killer at the roller derby.

Then there was the barnes & nobles trip that led me to talk about fancy children and their nonexistant parents.

Oh! Oh!! Dear Anonymous. This is probably still one of my favorites.
The permanent piercing that lasted a few months.
Then there was the time I almost got scammed by a 10yr old.

Hubs' outfit post <--he's handsome and I miss him so of course this post gets added to my favs.
The one where I kind of show you around Alaska.
OH! The one where I need to change my blog name!
Deployment starts.
Oh, Summer how I love you.
Reminiscing about friends
When we found out Baby O was a baby O and not a baby A.
Our 4 year wedding anniversary
That time I lost a follower on the blog & twitter than she talked trash about me on twitter because she assumed THIS POST about trashy woman was about her. Ha.
OVEN BAKED HOT DOGS <--so good.
My vent about faceook
Handsome man turned four
That time I got crafty
The "Joys" of pregnancy. <--this one still makes me giggle.
Baby lady turned three.
Being a parent is heartbreaking
Welcoming baby O to the world.
And finally, on dads & strength unknown.

I hope you enjoyed 2011 with me and I'll see you guys next year.

One month.

Can you guys believe that this little man is already a whole month old?!
Also.... getting a cranky one month old to cooperate, not such an easy task.
ha.
But, he's still a cutie huh?! 

We finally left the house.

Since the husband headed back to Afghanistan last Wednesday, the kids and I had yet to leave the house.
Well on Christmas we ventured out.

I swear it is nearly impossible to get them to cooperate.

Cute, huh?!
Hubs thinks his legwarmers are lame.
I think hubs is lame.
Ha.

This outfit is 0-3 months and he's still too tiny for it.
4 weeks old.

So back to the venturing....
Not too bad.
I was pretty nervous how it'd be with three bittles, but thankfully it was simple.
I have to eventually go grocery shopping.
I'm pretty scurred.

Christmas.

Oops. Oops. My bad. Oh crap, Oops.

Baby O is three weeks old.

The other morning I called to schedule my postpartum check up.

The 6 week one. . . . three weeks after baby.

Oops.

The nurse asked if I'd been seen for my 2 week checkup since I had a c-sections.

Oops.

And asked if I wanted to schedule my 4 week check up. 

4 weeks?! Oh crap!

There was an opening for half an hour later.

I was in jammies, sipping coffee and making pancakes.

I declined that appt.

So she relooked and found one for the next day.

I eagerly accepted that one.

Then the nurse says, "it's with a male doctor".

I said that was fine but laughed at the way she said it.

It was either take the appointment tomorrow with the male doctor or wait until January to see the lady doctor that had performed my c-section. And seeing as how this appointment was supposed to be a week ago anyway, I went with the male doctor.

Also, 2 week check up?! 4 week check up?! What in the heck?! This being my THIRD c-section, you'd think I'd know this shit. Nope. Brain=dead.   My bad. 

So, I went to the appointment. No kids, no husband, no diaper bag, not even a purse. I literally had my ID, phone and keys in my coat pockets. It was such a weird feeling to be so empty handed.
Appointment went well. And fast!! Scar looks good, all is well. 6 week appointment is in January.

After my appt, I came home to dressed and ready bittles for a day out and about.
We hit up starbucks and the comic book shop (handsome man has an obsession) and ran some errands.

then we came home.
Hubs made dinner.
It was delicious but I refuse to admit that to him.
If he ever read my blog, he'd know.
But he doesn't read it.
So, HA on him.

On dads, strength unknown and pictures.

**This post is a bit rambly, but I promise it has a point**

As I look over at my new little mister sound asleep on the couch I can't help but smile.
I smile at how adorable he is.
I smile at how sweet he is.
I smile at how much he's already discovered at just 2 weeks old.
I smile because his daddy got to be home for the birth.
I smile because his daddy is still here getting to witness his new little developments everyday.
If you read THIS post over on Pamplemousse then you know my husband should very well be on his way back to Afghanistan. He isn't. His leave got extended an extra ten days so that he'd be able to help me a bit longer. Thank God for that! Seeing as how I'm not even allowed to drive until, well today actually and he was supposed to fly out three days ago, Baby O had a Dr appt Monday and handsome man has preschool Monday-Friday, it's a very good thing that his extension was approved.
We actually had paperwork issues and with the time difference here to Afghanistan, it was Sunday night before he finally got the final paperwork saying he was good and his flight schedule changed. Without the flight schedule we were sure he'd still have to fly out. But thankfully, he's home still.
(Sad part is, I know some people that are probably jealous and angry about it. But keep in mind, I'm drugged up, I'm sore, we haven't really done anything over his r&r other than sit home and try to get comfy. Since I just had a baby it's not like we're getting an extra couple of days of crazy monkey sex or any sex at all and it's not even like we're going out and about and really doing stuff because I'm still tender and sore and yea. So I'm sorry that your husband didn't get a leave extension and mostly I'm sorry if you're angry or upset that mine did)

Anyway, back on topic....
I don't think I've ever put myself in my husband's shoes when it comes to parenting. In most families, the dad is the dominate one. The one enforcing the discipline and the rules and all of that. Well in my case, that's only half true. In most military homes the mother is the dominate parent. Daddy is gone too much.
Take handsome man.
He was born in August 07. Hubs flew to Alaska without us in June 08. Deployed in Sept 08.
Baby Lady was born in October 08. Hubs met her when he was home for R&R and she was 6 months old.
Handsome man was 1 & 1/2.
2 weeks home with them. At this point, they didn't know who he was or really care.
Handsome man was too young to remember him and baby lady had never met him!
His two weeks passed, the kids and I flew up to Alaska end of September 2009 to be together again.
And now this deployment....
not to mention all the weeks in the fields and training and classes and 24hr shifts and what not...
Like I said, the mom tends to be the main parent.
In baby O's case, that extra few days of leave is probably more amazing for hubs than for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have him home and safe for the extra days but I'm not the one that has to up and leave my family again.
I could not imagine leaving my 4yr old, 3yr old and my newborn. I could not imagine only getting to spend 2 weeks with my children before having to go live in hell for another few months.

People ask me how I do it. Tell me how strong I am or say they couldn't handle it.
Pregnant, two toddlers, Alaska, no family around, etc etc....
I would always just respond with "one day at a time"
But after thinking about it a bit more, I realized I get my strength from my mother.
So in reality, I'd like to thank my bio-dad and my step dad both for being total tools and leaving my mother to raise the 4 of us by herself. Has they actually wanted to be dads, my mom wouldn't have had to be so strong. I wouldn't be so strong because I wouldn't have had my mom's strength sneaking into my head while growing up.
But in my head, I'm not the strong one in this relationship, my husband is. I get to spend everyday with the kids. I don't have to leave them for hours/days/weeks/months at a time. I get to spend more than 2 weeks with them in a year. He is the stronger one.

So Dear dads that want nothing to do with their children,
           SCREW YOU! Do you not realize how many dads would kill to have the chance to spend more than 2 weeks with their children at a time?!  How many real dads would love nothing more than to come home every night to their wife and kids. To be home for dinner every night. Some people just truly do not know what is right in front of them.
It's a sad world we live in.
The ones that want to be home with their families can't and then some of the ones that can don't want to be.

I am truly blessed to be raised by such a wonderful woman that unknowingly passed her strength on.
And I am truly blessed to be married to a man that wants nothing more than to spend time with his family and actually be a dad.

Ok, ramble over. My apologizes for the ramblyness and the all over the placeness of this post. It could have been worded better and written better but cut me some slack-I managed to type his up while feeding and burping and changing a sweet baby and before everyone else woke up and on very little sleep and lots of coffee.  Ha!
Now I'll photo bomb you:

size 1 diapers--WAY too big.

I finally wore normal clothes. Yay.

Bubble wand!
ignore the coats and mess behind her.

Newborn outfit=big.
Baby feet rattles.
He wasn't thrilled.

The toy handsome man picked out.

Hanging out in his boppy. Thanks, Sarahbeth.

Poor baby lady. Notice her jammies don't match.
She picked them herself.
She may also have a slight minnie mouse
obsession.

tattooing.

Cookie making with Daddy.

happy baby lady.

such a handsome man.

Happy Monday.

I'm guest posting over HERE today.

One week.

Baby O is one week old.
HOW IN THE WORLD HAS IT ALREADY BEEN A WEEK?!
My gosh, time flies.
Let me show you how my day works.
Go to bed about 2/3 AM.
Wake up about 5/6 AM.
Cuddle this little man, feed this little man, burp this little man, change his poopy bootie, repeat.
Occasionally sneak in a bathroom break and a quick bite to eat.
He’s cute, huh?!
I’m in baby bliss.

Oh, and if you’re wondering why he’s pantsless, it’s because it’s a freakin’ sauna in our house.
Once again, Alaska’s weather has gone bipolar on us and today’s weather has been
between 30-40 positive!!
Freezing rain, melting snow, snow showers, gusts of wind 25-35mph.
yay. (<—sarcasm)
So our house is now a million degrees because it was all warm and prepared for the negative weather we’ve been having. 
Silly Alaska!

Ok, now for the not so cute side of new mommyhood.
(read at your own discretion)

I’m sleep deprived.
I’m sort of clean.
I think I’ve showered twice since we’ve been home from the hospital.
Thankfully some friends have provided us dinners or we’d probably be living off of hamburger helper and spaghetti o’s. (Hubs’ cooking is DELICIOUS! ha)
I’m pretty much loopy as can be between the lack of sleep (both from baby O and random pain from the C-section) and the pain pills.

Now, you’ve probably noticed my shirt…



the yellow spots are bleach stains (old)
Notice the spot on my boob—boob leakage.
They’re wrapped with an ace bandage. They hurt and still leak. It’s lame.
The tape over my incision is sticking to itself and random spots of my skin causing more pain and lots of discomfort. -Having to peel my underwear off of it just so I can pee, not pleasant.
(Not a good thing to forget about and just go to pee like normal…. OUCH!!)
Notice the pimples on my chin?! Poor hormones are all crazy.
They just don’t even know what to do with themselves.
Oh and let’s not forget the pee spot on my tummy.  Lovely, huh?!
I’m forgetting a thing or two but I’m sleepy and loopy so forgive me. 

All in all, I’m happy, baby O is gorgeous.
The bittles are great with him.
Handsome man always wants to help and baby lady just giggle at him
and points out everything he does.
“oh! Baby O’s eyes are open”
”mom! Baby o’s crying!”
etc. etc.

(it’s taken me hours to finish this post up)
Now, here are just some cute pictures for you.
Figured you could use them after the gross crap you just read.

For more pictures, you can follow me on instagram
I’m ambermack

and baby makes three.

Meet baby O.
He arrived Monday at 8:56am
weighing 6.10lbs
and was 18.5 inches long.
he’s a tiny little man.
he’s a perfect tiny little man.
the facts that my boobs are huge and sore,
I’m high as a kite,
I haven’t slept in days,
I can’t stand up straight,
every movement aches me
They’re all okay with me.
Because every time I look at this little man’s face
I smile.